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navigation pounds lost: 6.8 contact Last 5 rings
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2004-07-05 - 1:24 a.m. I knew that after yesterday’s diet meltdown I needed some divine fucking intervention. No, seriously. For about six days now, it’s been “the day” when I’m supposed to get back on track, and it always ends with me eating shit at night. Then I’m pissed at myself, and I get into that fuck it mode which only makes things worse. I decided to watch Tomb Raider. Number one because I love Angelina Jolie, number two because watching all the action and ass-kicking scenes motivates me to want to get in shape and do physical type stuff. And look hot while doing it. It’s not as cute to be a fatty on a motorcycle as it is to be all sexy wearing leather and shit. It worked pretty well. Then just for added incentive, I made a big collage of all the most disgusting pictures of myself from my London trip with Sooz. This was fairly easy, because it included every picture I was in. Anyway, after I vomited on my keyboard, I took a good look at them and tried to really remind myself that a) I’m still a member of the fatties, so I need to stop acting like I’m done, and b) the longer I screw around, the longer my prison sentence will last. I hung out with this cute guy today. The whole time I felt like I had that Trix commercial voice in my head saying, “Silly fatty, cute guys are for thin chicks.” I hate not feeling like I could date any guy I want. So yeah, it’s fucking time to get this shit together again. I’m going to lose weight this week and stop being a chubbo. I hate having all these little psychosis and worries and shit related to feeling fat. It’s totally aggravating. Also, bad food tastes good for the one minute you’re eating it, then you feel like a shithead. It’s not even worth it, I don’t know what my problem is, but I’m going to start stabbing myself in the abdomen to cut it out. Plus I’m tired of writing failure entries. Shit. Here we go. |
