2004-10-18 - 11:24 a.m.
you're going to the mental institution
My week was all right. I’m still a little bit amazed at how hard this all got recently. It’s not like it was a breeze before, but for some reason my willpower has gone to shit and I don’t know why. I think I’m going to rent Super Size Me and read Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle again so I’ll stop fucking eating fast food. You’d think that being a vegetarian would nearly eliminate this option for me, but you’d be surprised. French fries aren’t meaty, but they do the fatty trick just as nicely.
The only redeeming quality about Mondays is that you feel like you can start things fresh. Which is good, because I need that. I haven’t really been to my WW meeting lately, and as much as I hate the douchebags that go to it, I think that’s been a factor in me not doing so well these days. Amazing, I know. So no matter what, I’m going to scrape together the $13 and go tomorrow. I’m most likely going to gain, but it shouldn’t be anything ridiculous (or undeserved, really). I could care less what the hooch at the scale thinks of me, I need to get back into that routine.
Finally, there’s the exercise thing. I have no idea why sometimes I forget that I love to walk. Seriously. I mean, exercising sucks and it’s a pain to actually get up off your ass and go, but once I’m walking, it’s really relaxing. I usually have mental conversations with myself and just think about things. It’s really helpful, so I need to get to doing that every day again while it’s still warm enough. It’s not like I’m trying to make myself mountain bike up Mount Kilimanjaro or anything, so there really is no fucking reason not to go.
I feel like I’ve written this entry like 10,000 times in the last month. I wish I could pay someone $5 to boot me in the fucking ass, but all I can do is keep trying to get back on track. This last week was a marginal success, but I can definitely do better.
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