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navigation pounds lost: 6.8 contact Last 5 rings
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2004-10-29 - 9:54 a.m. All right, that’s it. Now I’m pissed off. It’s time for my ego to take control and let this whole nonsense bullshit stop. Seriously. I remember when I first started losing weight, one of the great motivators for me was the fact that I knew people were thinking I couldn’t do it. Nothing feels better than shutting people up and making them kiss your ass by proving them wrong. Okay, well, almost nothing. I hate the way things are right now, and I said to myself..”oh fuck, I don’t feel like writing this entry.” But I have to. I usually think astrology stuff is a crock of shit, but I do believe that Virgos are control freaks to a certain extent. I’m very much into details and whatnot, so this weird slacking spiral I’ve been on is literally driving me insane. Every night I go to sleep annoyed with myself, and every morning I wake up vowing to do better. When I’m motivated, I have an iron fucking will. Well, how’s this for motivation: you gained 8 pounds, bitch. I’ve heard a million stories about people who have lost a lot of weight and then put it right back on plus more. From the day I started losing weight, I swore that would never, ever, EVER be me. It’s too goddamn hard to take steps backwards. And yet here I am, fucking around. Granted, 8 pounds is not 65, but if it doesn’t stop, it will be someday. I know I’ve promised myself I’d get back on track like every day for over a month now, but I can’t take it anymore. I have to. I can’t live with myself knowing I’m just screwing around and wasting time. I hate being fat more than anything else in my whole life. It’s literally a prison sentence, and for some incredible reason, I keep extending my sentence. No more. I was watching Life As We Know It yesterday. I love that show for some reason, except for the fact that they act like Kelly Osbourne’s character weighs 300 pounds. There’s always cracks about her eating everything in sight, and it’s totally ridiculous. Last night’s episode, there was a girl who maybe weighed 170 pounds trying out for the school play. Of course, there were fat jokes galore. Not funny, assholes. If it were a retarded kid trying out for the play, and people were cracking jokes, that show would be getting protest letters up the ass. It’s okay to make fun of fat people, though. Which is why I’m checking out of this club as soon as possible. |
