2004-11-29 - 11:31 a.m.
fuck fuck fuck
Okay, jesus, where do I even start. I guess I can start with the fact that I’m a lazy fucking fatass slacker. This is not the time for positive reinforcement. It’s really amazing how lazy I can be without even trying, ha. And fat. Thanksgiving sucked diet-wise, but it wasn’t really any different than the last 2 weeks have been. So no surprises there. Let’s see…the scale bitch slapped me yesterday. I was expecting it, but it still sucked. Even if you know you’re about to get slugged in the gut, it’s still unpleasant – which it was.
I’m running out of ideas and sanity. I know I need to get my ass back to WW, for one. I plan on going next Tuesday no matter what. I don’t care if the lady at the desk bursts into laughter when I get on the scale, I must go. Unfortunately I don’t have the money to go tomorrow, but I really can’t afford to miss any more meetings. I’ll stand on the corner to make some money to go if I have to. I really am like some kind of addict, and I can’t be trusted to handle things on my own without guidance.
My evil family must be stopped. They’re all a bunch of tempting sabotageurs, and I won’t fall victim to it anymore, dammit. Okay, so no one’s exactly been twisting my arm lately…but god my family eats like fatasses. It’s hard to say no sometimes, but it’s harder to be a landmonster, so that’s over. Also, I’m taking a break from going out on the weekends. Clubs are fun when you don’t feel like Shamu, and drinking is okay when you’re not eating like a sumo wrestler. So in the interest of not increasing the size of my ass, I’m going to go on a clubbing hiatus. I won’t die, and I bet I’ll save money. Unless I spend it on slim-fast.
I realize slim-fast has many downsides, but I need to decrease my appetite a little bit. Since I’ve been eating like a porker, I’m hungry more. I need to reign that shit in a little. I figure suffering on slim fast for a few days will give me a little jumpstart. Hopefully. I think I’ll do it for a week or two, and start phasing my old meals back in. I don’t know what else to try, and I need something, anything to give me a boost. I refuse to flush all the hard work I’ve done. Walking/jogging after work.
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